In the Loving Memory of an Old Friend.

Today I said a final goodbye to a very dear friend of mine. He had been fighting for his life for over a month now but he did not deserve to go this young and in such brutal heartbreaking way, where I was not even able to say a proper goodbye. Sometimes when I used to see the scarred and sorry looking face of his, I used to think maybe it was kinder on him to just let him go... But I never lost hope, not entirely, that maybe someone, somewhere, somehow would be able to fix him. He recovered too once three weeks back but it did not last for very long and before I knew it, he was in much worse condition only like a week later.

For the past 4 years, 4 magical years, he has been with me through all the ups and downs of my life. Where ever I went, he went side by side, hand in hand. Whenever I fell, he fell. Whenever I was sad, he made sure that I get to talk to someone to make me feel better. In return I wasn't able to do much for him. Although I used to pick him up and dust him off whenever he fell (mind you he used to fall often), I feel I should have been more careful in order to not let him fall at all. I used to complain about him all the time. I used to call him useless, old fashioned piece of junk but he didn't mind, he used to act just the same as he did before.

Ah... How I miss my old friend now. He knew almost all of my secrets, all of my passwords, all of my favorite songs, all of my crushes, all of my conversations with them and all my friends, and all of the little poems and short stories that I wrote. In short, he was my best friend and I've lost him today.

In all reality, he could have lived on for a few weeks or even months had it not been for the accident where he flew out the window and landed on the road only to be run over by a motorbike. I was there, I was the one who was driving the car and it all happened in a matter of seconds which seemed like an eternity. The incident replays itself over and over in my head. It was something like this: a motorbike, trying to avoid a rickshaw, bumps into another motorbike who cuts in front of me, I brake hard and spin the wheel around in order to save the guy on the motorbike. It was during these seconds, when the car turns around uncontrollably, he flies out the window on to the road and the bike coming behind him runs him over. I look out the window and see him lying there, broken to the core. A nice stranger picks him up and walks over to my car and hands him to me and I very tenderly hold him in my hands and look down at my old, trusted and finally broken friend, Nokia 6760. I know he is not with me anymore and I’m sure he can’t listen to me right now but I would like to say this to him that no matter how much I complained about you, I loved you more than you know… Hell I've loved you more than I ever knew. You will be missed. Forever. Rest in peace old friend.



P.S. Never keep your cellphone on the dashboard of your car with windows down. -.-

Time = Money. Dafuq?

They say time is money; I am only now, comprehending the true meaning behind this statement. When I was younger, I used to wish time was money because I had all the time in the world, to do all the things I wanted to do, but had no money. Now I have some money, granted it is not as much as I want (doesn’t even get close to it), I do not have the time to do stuff that I want to do. Don’t know whether I should be thankful that time is not money because if it were the case, I’d be living well below the poverty line.

The school for most part has been keeping me busy with all the assignments, quizzes, presentations, research, problem sets and exams. The midterm week ended yesterday and I realized for the first time how fast the time is actually moving and also that I am failing international economics. =X It is not like I don’t get the subject, I get it just fine. The problem is with the questions on the exams. I see the question paper and I think to myself: ooookay. Hmm. I think I know the answer …you’ve got this… but that is against the model… and not to mention stupid… Did we even study this in class? The fuck? The only good thing in all this is that I am not the only one who is having a hard time with international economics - a small consonance.

Anyhow, I’m happy that it is Bakra Eid this week which means a long weekend and God knows I need it. Right now, my only wish is that time slows down, even by just a little so that I can actually enjoy a bit of life.

Is it the End of the World Yet?

I walk down a dark, cold, empty corridor. There is urgency in my walk. Something or someone is after me. I am not sure what I am doing in such a place but I have a feeling I have some business there. I reach the end of the corridor to find a locked door. I want to open that door. I feel with all my heart that the reason why I am in such a cold, dark place, being chased by an unknown thing or things lies beyond that door. I want that thing so bad. It is like a treasure to me. My pulse quickens, my breathing gets faster and I realize that my hands are sweating with excitement and fear as I feel my predator catching up to me. I try to break in but I can’t, the door is too strong. I can feel the predator getting closer. I search my pockets and find a paperclip inside. I set to pick the lock while looking over my shoulder for the predator. Suddenly there is an earthquake. The whole world starts to shake violently. I feel the death knocking at my door. I work faster on the lock. I have to get to that mysterious thing, before the world crumbles down to dust. There is music. I am not sure where that is coming from. I have succeeded in picking the lock. The earthquake has gotten stronger. The music has gotten louder. I am going to meet my end very soon. I have to move quickly; have to get that thing before I die. I kick at the door to open it. The music has become deafening now. I cannot take it anymore. I close my eyes and put fingers in my ears to block out the sound but it wouldn’t go away. I want it to stop but it just wouldn’t stop. I open my eyes again. It takes me a moment to realize where I am. I am in my room. The music is still there, though not that deafening and the earthquake has subsided to mere vibrations. I search my room for the source of music and vibrations to find my cell phone ringing and I realize it was all a dream.

I looked at the phone to see who this discourteous caller was who had woke me up early in the morning and denied me a treat of knowing and having what was beyond that door to find that it was my best friend. I picked up the phone, thinking this better be good, and said hello? and my friend replied “soo tou nahe raha tha? Yaar nastha hee keraa day please!”

I am not sure what exactly my reply was, but I haven’t heard from him in three days (dil per lay gaya baat) ;)


P.S. This is from second week of July. Summer break had just started then. :) Found it among other things that do not find their way up here. Oh and I did not hear from him for 9 days. Kuch zayada he dil per lay gaya tha :P

Real Life Severus Snape!

Cannot believe it has been 2 weeks since the school started. It seems like I am still on vacation or something due to my extremely weird and partly messed up class schedule this semester. The only good thing about it is that I have only one 8 am class as opposed to 8 am classes throughout the week which had been the norm for the past 3 years. I have school on Monday, Wednesday, Friday, and Saturday. One would think what the hell am I complaining about, it is pretty pretty schedule. But I tend to get lazy with a day off almost every other day so getting into a momentum or routine so far has been a problem. And also a one day weekend is no fun at all. -.-

Anyway, this semester I have a teacher who can give Professor Snape form Harry Potter run for his money. This was first pointed out by my friend sitting next to me and I realized he was quite right. There is uncanny resemblance between the two. Both have greasy hair, both talk slowly in their drawling voices, both have a natural gift at keeping the class quiet without any effort, both are extremely rude, and if you look closely you would think they look the same as well. He started the class off by “interrogating” people about their backgrounds, knowledge of econometrics, different statistical models, and soft-wares. I was his first victim and he asked me about such econometric techniques that I had never ever heard of them. One by one other students were interrogated, with him running a constant commentary on how very limited our knowledge was in the field of econometrics. Don’t know what he was expecting from students who had taken a course in econometrics two semesters ago and were coming back to school after a month off. Anyhow, a friend of mine was sitting two rows ahead of me and soon it was to be her turn. Her eyes were about to pop out of their sockets, face was red from blushing, and was possibly perspiring as well. But luckily for her the class ended just before it was her turn. Later on while walking to the next class she told me that she knows exactly how poor Neville Longbottom felt in Snape’s presence. LOL

Pakistan Khappay, Pakistan Khappay, Pakistan Khappay

The Islamic Republic of Pakistan turned 65 three days ago. The country that came into existence after much bloodshed is still bleeding; there is no end to its suffering. Perhaps the bleeding never stopped.

Granted some of the damage was done by the foreign forces but most of the damage was inflicted by our own hands. We allowed ourselves to lie, to cheat and to become dishonest in every walk of life. Result is for all to see. We have wide spread poverty, lack of basic education and morality, lack of any sort of health structure, no clear public policy, no tolerance towards ideas and views different from ours, high levels of hypocrisy, no patience and no respect for others, no unity, no faith and no discipline – ironically the last three attributes are the motto of Pakistan . In short we are everything that a nation or a country should not be. Last year Pakistan was ranked 12th worst state on the list of failed states.

The country presently is being run by incompetent nincompoops. It is futile to blame them entirely for they merely reflect the society. Our beloved President Mr. 10-percent along with much adored Prime Minister Raja Rental/Bijlee are from amongst us. This does not mean that every second person can become the President or Prime Minister; it means that every second person is Mr. 10 percent or Raja Rental in some way or the other! (So don’t be surprised if you see Zardari blinking back at you through a mirror – scary thought)

It’s heartbreaking to see the county where it is right now. All the efforts for a separate Muslim homeland have been all in vain because what we have today is clearly not what the dream began with. We have had very little to cheer about for the past 65 years (apart from cheering every alternate hour for being blessed with electric supply). But these 65 years could not have been all bad.. I would like to think that we achieved something as well. For better or for worse, we did become a nuclear state which I personally believe is a stupendous achievement considering the circumstances in which the nuclear bomb was made. At least most Pakistanis cheered at that. 1992 Cricket World Cup and 2009 T20 World Cup are also one of the very few things that the whole nation was happy about. People like Dr. Abdus Salam, Abdul Sattar Edhi, Ali Moeen Nawazish, Sharmeen Obaid Chinoy, Arfa Karim and many others like them have made the country proud but all these names are never celebrated. The nations that fail to celebrate their heroes seldom produce more of them, and that is the ultimate demise. May God help this nation – Amen.

You Have a Text Message

You never replied to my text message! Dude, did you even get my messages? Yaar banda kabhe sms ka reply bhi ker daita hai! Is something wrong with your phone? Kabhe time per reply naa kerna tum! Torr k phank do tum apna phone – This is what I get to hear on a regular basis from my friends.

I don’t quite understand what my problem is with text messages. Maybe I do not take them very seriously or maybe I just get too many messages and I go straight to the ones I think are more important thinking I’d look at other messages later and then I forget all about them. Or maybe I am always busy with one thing or the other to take some time out and reply to “oye kya karr rha hai abhe?” & “kya scene hai /scene awnn hai??!”

This habit of ignoring text messages is quite old and gets me in trouble at times but I never learn. I, very conveniently, ignore my dad’s text message reminding me to get home before curfew, my mom’s text asking me to get something from the store on my way back, my friends’ messages reminding me of paying their money back. It is not like I do not reply at all. It is just that I do not reply on time. I even had a breakup with my girlfriend because according to her I never replied – which I think is not true!! And then another past love interest asked me if I was trying to act cool by not replying on time? (as if I need to ‘act’ cool, haha =P)

So I have decided to put in more effort to reply back to people. And I am discovering it is not thaaat hard and I am also getting fewer complaints of not replying back or on time. Let’s see for how long I can continue this. =]

Longing for the Summer Holidays!

What a great feeling it would be to be at the top of things. Get everything done in due time, meet all of the deadlines, and maybe even have a moment or two for yourself. (I’ve seldom felt something like that but when I do, I feel like I’m at the top of the world – so elated) =P


The final week of the semester rolled in and rolled out and brought all of the end-of-semester-madness with it. Assignments, projects, reports, presentations – all were due this week. And then the final exams start next week. It is really hard to find time for anything right now and most of all, to strike a balance between work and social life. What makes it worse is that almost all of my friends are done with school for the summer and are back in the city. I haven’t been able to find time for them and they have been complaining a lot lately. I keep telling them that they’re busy having a good time but I know I’m just saying this to get them off my back for a while. Not been a good friend in the past few weeks. But all of that is going to change next week.


Can’t wait for school to end and summers to start (well, summers have already started.. I mean the holidays =P). So the partying starts from next weekend. Woot woot! =D

Goldilocks and the BIG FAT UGLY BEAR

So my sister and her family are visiting for the summers and I’ve been busy having fun with my nieces, Z and H. Z turns 4 this September while H is only 4 months old. Now Z has got me thinking whether the game I’ve been playing with her since the last 10 days exists for real or is just her own invention. It’s called “the Goldilocks”. I am sure you have guessed that in this game one person impersonates Goldilocks while the other one has to pretend to be a bear.

The first time I played, Z told me that I have to be Goldilocks while she’ll be the bear. She got slightly annoyed because I was not playing my part well. According to her, I also had to say “please don’t eat me, bear” while she tried to catch me – I forgot. As a result of this mistake, she quickly announced “IT’S MY TURN!” and then explained it to me that I have to catch her. I asked her why? (just because I love to see her little face while she thinks) and she was like “umm because… because, you are a BIG, FAT, UGLY BEARRR!”

And then I pretended to be a “big, fat, ugly bear”. The poor bear also got kicked in the face, rather hard, while he was trying to eat Goldilocks. Ha, I guess serves him right for trying to eat Goldilocks. =P

If Only Teachers Cared...

A major presentation right after the midterm week is never good. For one, you haven’t slept properly the whole week and second, you have to work your ass off when everyone else you know is busy catching up on sleep and having fun.

I had my last exam on Monday, the first day after the midterm week – go figure. Anyway, right after my exam, I, along with my group members, decided to get started on the research that we were required to do. After like an hour and a half of initial research, we still had not grasped the topic at hand. A friend and I decided to go to the teacher’s office and consult her but she was not there. I looked at the bulletin board that hung beside her desk and saw that she had a class at that very time. We decided to go and wait for her outside her classroom and ask her questions when she ends the lecture. We waited for like 10 minutes in which my friend plopped down on a bundled up carpet in the corner which, I still have a strong feeling, was infested with lizards. I told her about my hunch, but it turned out that she was not scared of lizards and in her day had hunted many lizards with her jooti – the first girl I personally know who has done that (How awesome is that? =P). Anyway after 10 minutes I decided to peek into the classroom to see if the teacher was even there. The classroom was totally empty. Turns out, the teacher did not come to school that day. So we went to our next class and after that decided to go home without actually deciding what we were going to do about the presentation. Well, I actually went to a friend’s birthday party while others might have gone to see the baby (another teacher’s precious little child because of whom our classes get cancelled every now and then).

The next day I woke up relatively late and looked around for my cell phone. There were a few text messages from my friend. One of them included a teacher’s number, asking me to request her to postpone the presentation. I never like talking to teachers on the phone. The last time I talked to a teacher on the phone was back in 2008 and at that time I was pretending to be a friend’s dad – but that’s another story. Anyway to cut the long story short, it was decided that I’ll text the teacher and if she does not reply in two hours then my friend will call her. It took me 15 minutes to come up with the perfect text message which explained how and why we cannot possibly present the next day and that the presentation should be postponed till next class (To which the teacher never replied).

At 4 O’ clock I got a call from my friend. It turned out that she had just called the teacher and the teacher was most displeased and had refused to postpone the presentation. In short we were screwed – 15% of the grade was riding on this presentation. We had till 8 am the next day to get done with everything. We divided the topic and set to work and worked the whole night. I got done with it at 4 am in the morning and managed to sleep for two hours, while 2 of my group members didn't even get the chance to shut their eyes, although I have a feeling they spent considerable amount of time on Facebook. =/

I woke up after 2 hours, dressed up for presentation and drove to school half asleep. Reached school and went straight to class. Sat down at the very back and started going over the things I had planned to say during my presentation. I looked up to check the time and was surprised to see it was 8:30 am. The class was supposed to start at 8:15. I thought maybe the teacher is late, she will show up in a while.

8:40 am - still no sign of teacher.

8:45 am - still not there.

That’s when we all decided that this means only one thing – the teacher is not coming today, and we were quite right, she didn't.

All of our work, the sleepless night, never ending reading, everything we had done was all in vain! (Well no, we presented the next day) But it was total injustice to us for we had spent so much time working under considerable amount of stress and pressure, and the teacher just decided not to show up. Grrr!!!

I really think that teachers should be courteous enough to tell the students in advance that they do not plan to take the class. All it takes is a text message or an email to inform the students. Now seriously, how hard is that? It would save students the trouble of coming to school or discomfort of waking up early in the morning or in my case, considerable amount of stress. I  feel that the teachers should be a bit more considerate than two of my present teachers (this one, and the one with the baby). 

Is it Real or Just Another Crush?

It has been three weeks since the school started and next week I will be sitting through my midterm exams. That’s the problem with accelerated courses. You cover a four and a half month course in two months. So that means all the more studying. 

Anyway, last week on Wednesday I woke up feeling particularly good. Usually I am always grouchy in the mornings. So, I didn't get out of the bed straight away and took a moment to think why I am feeling good this morning? I didn't have to grope around in the darkness for the answer as it came to me in matter of seconds. I was going to let my feelings known to my latest crush. As soon as I thought this my insides started to squirm, not from the morning bowel movement, but from thinking what the hell I was going to say? I had spent the last few days talking myself into letting her know how I feel but I had not given any thought to what I would actually say to her. With this thought in my head I started to get ready for school. It actually took me 10 minutes to decide upon a shirt alone (crazy right? I must be in love!) as opposed to 5 minutes that I take to get dressed fully. Finally, after making myself as much presentable as one possibly can without over doing it, I was out the door. 

I reached school just in time for my first class, parked my car at my usual place and rushed inside. Spent two hours listening to the teacher drown on and on about financial markets. I even tried to take notes and jot down important stuff for the first 20 minutes and then spent the rest of the time contemplating what I was going to say? Whether to go with the overused cheesy pick up lines or come up with something original? Original seemed a better choice cause after all who really likes cheesy stuff? And that’s when I discovered that how hard it actually is to come up with original pickup lines. Here are the few “semi-originals” that I came up with.

1. Are you for real? I thought beauties like you existed only in my dreams!
2. Your family probably does not need a microwave oven. Why? Cause you are so hot, things probably get warmed up on their own around you.
3. This is a pick up line. Wanna get picked up?
4. Be cool and say yes.
5. Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, but here’s my number, so call me, maybe? (lyrics from Carly Rae Jepsen song “Call Me Maybe”)

Really stupid, right? In fact they are absolutely pathetic. This is when I truly admired the art of pickup lines. And I thought that I should have bought that book called “Venusian Arts: How to Put Beautiful Women Under Your Spell” when I found it in the bookstore. Who knows what I would have learned from it. Totally going to buy it, it’s at the top of my list now. 

Anyway the class ended, I stepped out and decided to look for her. Finding people around campus is rather easy this time of the year. Mostly in summers, people are either in the library or the cafeteria, because of the air conditioning. I went to cafeteria first, one look around told me that she wasn't there so I decided to go to the library which is located on the other side of the campus. I walked on and on in the blistering sun and finally reached the library. Once inside, I looked around hopefully but was only disappointed. Decided to go back to the cafeteria once again thinking maybe I had missed her. Was back to the cafeteria, then back to library, and then back again to cafeteria with no luck. She must have been in a class or something. Likes to study, God bless her. =] 

So I gave up looking for her and decided to do something productive and get done with some homework which I had to turn-in in the next class. So I called a friend and begged him to do half of my assignment =P which after much persuasion he did. Completed my assignment right on time and went for the class. Reaching the classroom, I got to know that the class had been cancelled. Cursed my luck as I had put in hard work copying… I mean doing that assignment and also I had hit dead ends with my quest for the day. Now since the class had been cancelled, I had some free time at my hands. I thought why not try and look for her again. This time I decided to take help of a friend whose younger sister is friends with my crush. Why I had not asked her in first place was because I didn't want her to give me that “I know what you’re up to” look. I decided to act cool, so I casually asked her where I may be able to find her and she totally gave me that look with a sly smile. I am grateful she didn't say anything else to me. I got to know that the girl I had been looking for since morning was about to leave. My friend told me that “she is leaving, jaaoo jaldeee!” hearing this, I turned around ready to sprint towards the gates and I realized that I still had no idea what I was going to say to her. In that moment I decided that I will just wing it and I was off. I am a good sprinter but it felt like I was running in slow motion (telling you, its love). Reached the gates within a few minutes and looked around. Sadly there was no sign of her. She probably had left the school premises. I decided to call it a day, go home and catch up on some sleep. 

Since that day I am yet to catch a break with her. Still crushing hard. =D

Jackass for an Uncle

Today, I was sitting in cafeteria busy studying for a stupid quiz later in the day (which by the way didn't go too well) when a guy came to me and asked if someone was sitting with me. I was a little taken aback at the thought that a “guy” wants to sits with me and perhaps it was shown on my face so he quickly added that all other tables are full and he and his friends wants to sit somewhere. I was relieved at hearing that. I scanned the area and he was quite right about all tables being full. I told him to go ahead and join me with his friends while silently wishing a girl had asked me that question.  =P (it never happens no matter how much you wish for it)

Anyway, these guys were freshman and were a jolly lot. I decided to take a break from my book as I wasn’t getting anywhere with studying and talk to them. While talking to them it turned out that one of the guy’s uncle (dad’s elder brother to be exact) was none other than our current minster for information technology and ex minister for water and power, Raja Pervaiz Ashraf. After knowing that I was torn between the desire to punch him in the face or to launch a verbal attack but then I realized that it was his uncle that I wanted to punch and abuse and not the poor guy. Again the guy who had asked me if I was sitting alone read my face and was like “bhaai aap bhe dai dain iss ko gaaliaan, hum her roz daitay hain” and after that the priceless juggats started and became increasingly more and more insulting. I couldn’t help but laugh because cruel the juggats maybe, they were down-rightly funny and I took vindictive pleasure in them because I personally feel no matter how much your curse Raja Pervaiz Ashraf, it just wouldn't be enough.

Since I had some studying left before the quiz I decided to hit the library. Before leaving I gave him a piece of advice that never ever admit that he is related to Raja Pervaiz Ashraf and if someone asks then deny it straight away. The other guys roared with laughter at this and one of them was like “sun lai bhai ki baat! Warna her jaga zaleel hee hoga”.  

It is very sad that the poor guy had to endure all that. It is not his fault that his uncle happens to be a … well a son of a bitch. =P (I didn't want to say that but couldn't help myself). But then again it’s the people like Raja Pervaiz Ashraf who need to think about their families and what they will have to endure because of their lies and corruption.  Till they become corruption free (which I do not think they’ll ever be) their families will, as one of the guys said “her jagga zaleel he hon gi”. 

The King of Procrastination

A week has passed since the start of summer semester. It feels like it has already been months since it started. Although the work load is not that much right now but I have a feeling that it would be in a week or two with quizzes and assignments lined up for next week.

Anyway, this is about the resolution that I make with myself during every final exams. Most recently I made it with myself like a month back during final exams of last semester. The resolution was “next semester sai paki parha shoru” and “agli bar her chapter sath sath parhu ga”. Now that a week has passed since the semester started, my resolution is put to test. We have already covered more than I had anticipated. So now I have a lot of studying to do. But I am still thinking along these lines “hey, it’s just the start of the semester. Plenty of time left to study, right?”

  

Honestly, deep down I know that I should be studying so at the end of semester I am not making such resolutions again or irritating God with my prayers which every time goes like this “ya Allah please iss bar izzat bacha lai”. Especially, since I do not have anything else to do than watch T.V (even the most boring show is far more fun than studying). The social life is almost nonexistent. And it is too hot for my liking to go out and play something with the guys from my neighborhood.

So really, what is stopping me from studying? It is me, myself and I – the king of procrastination. I am going to try and change that. Do not know if I will succeed or not (even right now when I’m penning this down my lazy heart is saying “dude, what the hell are you saying? Please don’t say that!”). Let’s see what comes out of my resolution this time.

Note: Okay so the power went before I could hit publish button. And now 12 hours later I am in bed with a slightly guilty heart. I ended up playing cricket all day long. But hey, you have to look after your health after all, right? =P
“abb bass kel sai pakki parhai shoru”

The Start of Something Ordinary.

Okay so this is about a life of an ordinary guy. I know, pretty boring right? We all like to read about rich, famous people with their awesome lives and everything. But I think we all will agree that even ordinary people like me have their moments every now and then. Although such moments are few and far between. But there are moments. And I am here to share those moments with you. Before I start posting, let me tell you about myself. I am 21, handsome, good-looking, good-natured, and totally awesome guy (at least I would like to think so =P). I am currently in pursuit of my undergrad in economics. And let me tell you, this pursuit is not going well at all, at least not at the moment. But I am hanging in there like the other ordinary guys like me.  

Anyway, stay tuned at this space for breathtaking, thrilling, heart-stopping, and awe-inspiring “ordinary” stories from a life of an ordinary guy. =P
oh and feel free to leave comments and let me know what you think. Much appreciated. :)